Echo
by NacaMichio
Summary: Warning: Triggers When a demon has personal vendetta with Castiel he decides to take it out on Dean and shatter what little sanity the young man has left. Castiel must pick up the pieces and try to reassure the hunter that he loves him no matter what.I decided to continue.
1. Echo

The demon knocked Sam out and Dean jumped on its back. He tried to stab it in the chest, struggling for a long time with it until it threw him off and he slammed hard into the ground, the knife flying from his hand. He lay dazed and the demon grinned.

"I will get to you later, I have something special in mind for you." It smiled wickedly and turned back to Sam. Dean couldn't have that. He couldn't fight the thing but he could get it away from Sammy at all costs. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply before running the other direction and out onto the street. He ran, knowing it would follow, knowing it would catch him, especially since he was injured, but also knowing if he gave it time, gave it long enough, Sam would wake up and either save him or get away.

Dean had no clue how long he ran until he felt the fist to his back. His spine went numb and his legs gave out and he collapsed to the pavement, hard, sparks of color and white pain flashing in front of his eyes. He groaned and tried to crawl away. He crawled into the alley and was flipped roughly over, a hand crushing his lips and almost suffocating him as he struggled, finally getting at least his nose free for some air.

"Just so impatient." The demon hissed. Dean felt an unpleasant tug at his pants and heard his belt being messed with.

He struggled and groaned and tried to make it as hard as he could for the demon to do whatever he was going to. The hand gripping his face lifted his head and smacked it into the pavement again causing blinding sparks in his swimming vision and the demon let go of his face and started to pet his hair.

"Now, I want you to do a few things for me. Of course most of it will just happen. I want you to go to your angel, that bastard needs to know how a demon defiled his precious human." This gave Dean a new energy and he started to struggle again and the demon grabbed his throat, constricting his airway for what seemed like forever until his vision swam then went completely dark. He didn't know how long that lasted before his vision came back and he gasped and choked.

"Now, hold still." The demon warned running his hands up Dean's torso under his shirt causing unpleasant shivers. Dean tried to struggle but the nausea overwhelmed him and he coughed trying to keep the bile from rising in his throat as it burned his esophagus.

It took a few good yanks until the creature above Dean could get his jeans off then undo his own pants.

"Beg, Winchester." Dean's lips pressed into a tight line. The evil being above him gripped his hips so tight Dean gasped and could feel the bruising, he almost could feel his hip bones being crushed and he exhaled before letting out a whine, " Beg me to stop."

"N….Never!" Dean growled and the demon slammed into him. Dean gasped and screamed and struggled against the hold on his hips. As he was slammed into Dean felt the most pain he had ever felt on Earth, what fragile hold he had on his sanity started to slip and Dean started to cry. This was the one thing that he had control over, who and when he had sex with. He started to claw at the face and chest above as his vision swirled with darkness, tears and flashes of painful light, the cold of the pavement seeped into his very bones, his back scraped the hard stone.

He choked, "S..stop…stop… please stop…" But this made the male above himn thrust harder as he screamed, finally giving into the white blinding pain until the demon finally came. Dean lay on the ground, tears streaming down his face as the demon yanled Dean's pants haphazardly back on and left them unzipped and the belt undone.

"Your angel will never want such a dirty creature like you, soiled now in every way." It hissed and Dean whimpered curling onto his side.

* * *

Castiel paced the hotel room. The youngest Winchester was better at finding Dean when he was missing, so he told Cas to just wait at the hotel, so he waited. He sighed angrily at how useless he felt. He wiped his face furiously and almost jumped out of his skin when a loud knock rang through the room. He went to the door and it only take a peek out the window and he knew who was at the door. He flung it open and Dean fell heavily in the door. Castiel tried to catch him but as Dean clutched Castiel's upper arms they both fell to their knees.

Dean huffed and sat back still holding Castiel's upper arms and slowly raising his green eyes, glossy with tears, to meet the blue eyes of his angel. He seemed to search them for a moment.

"Where's Sammy?" Of course he would ask for his brother, he always did, never worried about himself.

"He's fine, looking for you, I'll call him in a bit." Castiel put his hands gently on Dean's face and that seemed to break a wall of some sort. Dean started to shake and cry, he was actually sobbing, his whole body, whole being shaking uncontrollably as he averted his eyes as if in shame.

"I… I need a shower…" He managed to sob out, " So filthy…"he shuddered.

"You need to rest." Castiel tried to demand.

"So dirty, please…" He looked up and begged in the only way Cas ever thought he would. Castile helped Dean get up and noticed that his belt was undone but said nothing of it as he helped the taller male to the bathroom. Dean sat on the toilet and started to undress, not even noticing that Castiel was still in the room. After a moment Castiel got over his flustered modesty and started turning the dials, when he reached for the cold a strong hand grasped his wrist, " It has to be hot or I won't get clean."

Castiel gasped at the heat from Dean's fevered hand. He was delusional, he had to be. Castiel didn't know how to care for him other than do as he was told. He nodded then helped the now naked other man into the shower, trying not to gasp at the bruising of the other man's hips, the bloody welts from nails digging into the human's flesh, the pallor to his skin telling a story about Castiel's human that he did not want to read.

He got Dean into the much too hot shower and he heard Dean gasp but then Dean started to scrub himself off. After scrubbing himself raw Castiel finally stepped up to the shower, soaking his trench coat sleeve as he leaned in and pulled the other male out. Somehow he dressed Dean and finally they stood, their clothes partially wet but neither caring.

"Let me heal you…" Castiel asked. Dean leaned forward and pressed his head to Cas' shoulder then started to sob again then dropped to his knees. Castiel caught him and lowered him letting Dean hug him tightly as both their bodies shook with his long harsh sobs. Castiel held him close, letting Dean sob and shriek loudly, using his angelic powers to soundproof the room so they wouldn't be disturbed.

Castiel combed a hand through Dean's short wet hair and rubbed his back, wincing as Dean gripped him so tight, Dean's nails digging into Castiel's skin but he didn't say a word.

"It's okay, I'm here…" If Cas had been freaking out before he was freaking out worse now, as Dean finally fell silent, barely moving other than the slight tremors as he breathed, " Dean?"

Dean pushed away, way too gently for Dean, then stood, Cas having to catch him a few times but eventually he made it to the bed and he flopped face down on the bed and just lay there. Cas couldn't tell if he was asleep or just laying there but he took out his phone and called the younger Winchester.

"Hello, This is Sam." He answered.

"He's here... and I do not know what to do. He is not acting like himself." Castiel glanced at the other male in the room that hadn't even stirred.

"He's there? Is he injured?" Sam asked.

"Just come I do not... know what to do." Cas didn't wait for a reply, the way that Dean was acting was making Castiel extremely anxious and he didn't want to snap at Sam.

"Cas?" Dean muttered and sat up and Cas was at his side, sitting on the bed next to him.

"Hello, Dean." Dean looked releaved Cas was still there and he hugged Cas without warning then seemed to pass out again. Castiel started to run his fingers through Dean's hair, really unsure what to do as tremors shook the young man in his arms.

* * *

Sam opened the door and blinked in surprise as Cas looked up from the bed. Dean was sprawled out on top of him sound asleep. Cas mouthed something and Sam tilted his head, still shocked by the scene in front of him. Cas tried to move out from under Dean and Dean whimpered slightly and then sat up frantically.

"Don't go." he muttered groggily and Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders, his hand resting on where Sam knew there was a scar it would fit on perfectly.

"I'm not going anywhere except to talk to Sam. Right there." Cas nodded and Dean mimicked the motion, laying back down to sleep some more. Cas walked over to Sam and led him to sit down at the table.

"What's going on?" Sam whispered.

"The demon. Once Dean led it away from you it attacked him. He is in a pretty fragile state." Cas still wasn't completely sure himself what had happened exactly.

"What did it do?" Sam's voice was starting to pitch with worry.

"I wasn't able to get all of it from him but what I have gotten, it... taunted him... as it defiled him... to get back at me for some wrongdoing... I am not aware of..." Castiel's eyes darted to the floor. He was pretty sure he knew what demon it had been, and who he was to blame for the older Winchester's plight, for the soiled righteous man in the bed nearby, for the brokenness laying in a heap on the bed.

"I...it w...what...?" Sam asked quietly before standing and walking over to the edge of the bed where Dean lay and kneeling. Cas sat on the other side of the bed then lay down and Dean pulled him close, letting the angel try to comfort him as he dosed. Sam took a hold of Dean's hand and his fear peaked as Dean didn't pull it away and make a witty remark.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice sounded so strained and so weak as Dean held onto Sam's hand as if for dear life.

"I'm here.." Sam choked out, tears burning his eyes as he watched his fevered older brother falling apart in front of him.

"He's going to leave, he's not going to want me... after this..." Dean muttered, his eyes still closed.

Suddenly as if angry about something Castiel sat up, forcing Dean to sit up with him and Dean doubled over and started to dry heave off the side of the bed. Once that calmed down, Cas took Dean's face in his hands forcefully, though he tried not to touch the light purple bruising on his jaw where it had been held much too tight hours before.

"You listen to me, Dean Winchester, you were put in my charge and I have never abandoned a charge in my entire lifetime and I have lived for a very long time. I don't care what happens to you or who does it... I love you and I am never leaving you, whenever you think that, remember this!" He ran his hand up under Dean's sleeve and Dean hissed in fear before realizing Cas was just laying his hand on where he had gripped Dean before, " I am not going anywhere." Sam's heart broke as he watched his older brother completely break down. He had only seen him cry once or twice maybe a few times more in his life but never like this. Hell hadn't even done this to him. Sam rubbed Dean's hand between his own, biting and chewing his lip forcefully trying not to intrude but not wanting to leave his brother's side.

Dean fell forward onto Castiel's chest and wept for a long time and they sat that same way for hours it seemed. Castiel petting his hair and scratching his back while Sam held his hand and tried to think straight. What could they do, there was nothing to do except what they were doing.

Sam finally stood and stretched his legs before leaning down to Dean and trying to get him to look up, slightly shaking his shoulder and Dean looked at his hand then flinched and looked up at him.

"Dean, can Castiel heal you please?" Sam asked quietly. Dean leaned back to look at Cas then looked back at Sam, a little more of his old self in that look before he cast his eyes to the floor, a look Sam was very much used to. Dean was ashamed.

Sam shook his head then Dean looked up and nodded at Cas," C-can you...?" He asked, his voice gruff but almost normal again.

"I can't take the memory away of what happened... but I can take away your pain. " Cas muttered and Dean nodded swallowing hard and flinching As Cas lifted his hand and closing his eyes. His muscles tensed and he cringed as if Cas just said I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Cas barely touched Dean's forehead and Dean gasped, the bruising gone from his face and he looked down, slowly lifting his shirt to look at his hips. No fingerprints or hand prints left. Suddenly Dean paled and almost turned green before running to the bathroom and dry heaving into the toilet.

* * *

Weeks turned into months and Castiel never left Dean's side, Dean never let him. Dean couldn't sleep anymore unless he had a hand on Cas or Cas had a hand on him. Dean always had to know Cas was there and when they went on hunts Sam would catch Dean glancing around for the tall trench coated angel fearfully only to sigh when he saw him and continue his work.

After a while it got to the point that they could spend hours at a time without Cas and Dean would be alright but he always would start to freak out if it was more than a day since he had seen him.

Many times they caught Dean trying to drown himself in alcohol and he dreamed of hell more often then he used to. Often Sam would wake up to Dean cradled in Castiel's arms, Castiel trying to get him to stop weeping or just to sleep for a few more hours. Dean would never talk about what had happened but it seemed to weigh him down a lot more than anything else he had gone through.

Dean went through a phase where he would throw things and yell at Cas, screaming things like, " Why shouldn't you leave? Why shouldn't you not want me!?" But Castiel would just wait until Dean would fall to his knees crying then would kneel with him and hug him tight as if to reassure him that he didn't want to go anywhere.

Dean seemed pretty normal as long as he knew he could just call his name and get Cas instantly, but he was never completely the same, as if this had broken that final piece of him and he had completely lost everything that made him Dean. Castiel was all he seemed to care about, but as long as that kept him going, who was going to complain?


	2. Shadow

The angel flipped his blade, the reflection of the shining material shining for a moment on the dark flesh of whatever was in front of him. He twirled the metal, a blade of which no material on earth could replicate, yet this thing seemed to have a similar weapon at its disposal.

He saw it stalking around and then shrink and stand, flexing its hand.

"Ready to die, winged one?" It asked in a hissing voice.

"How do you know what I am? Tell me how you know!" He yelled gripping the blade until his knuckles went white.

The thing grinned and then jumped tearing the angel apart as it did so, smearing his blood across the dirt and leaves and sticks then leaving his body for the animals to feast on as it watched the white light emanate outward as the angel died and it's wings scorched the ground.

"I can see your wings, fair one." A roaring laugh split the air before it was only an echo on the breeze as the police cruiser came up.

"You kids had better not be-OH GOD!" He screamed, stepping in some liquid he knew wasn't cool-aid.

* * *

Castiel sighed and hung his head, his wings twitching in frustration. They shook, a feather or two falling to the ground before disappearing in a small cloud of ash. He looked up at the other angel, his sister. His sister ran her long fingers through her vessle's long blonde hair as a his way of mimicking Castiel's sigh.

"It is the Winchester again, is it not, the oldest boy?" Mihael sighed before tying her blonde locks back away from her face. She hated the hair, it was dyed blonde. She liked her vessle's natural color but it would never go back to that color now that the vessel was inhabited.

"Can you finish without me, I should not be long. He just wants to make sure I'm alright." Cas mumbled under his breath.

"I can finish and be on the Eastern seaboard by morning, is that enough time?" Mihael asked. Cas turned to his sister and ran a finger across her temple as if he were stroking hair away from her face. She wasn't used to phisical contact but the way Cas smiled, there was no way she couldn't return the look.

"You will do well. That is plenty of time. About that time Kutiel should be in the same area. I will see you both there." Cas closed his eyes and there was a flurry then just a few drifting feathers in the air before each quietly hit the ground and disintegrated into ash.

Sam jumped visibly causing Dean to jump and knock over his beer. Of course Sam would be startled by the sudden appearance of the angel at the end of the desk his back had been facing before he swiveled the chair to face Cas.

When Sam wasn't looking Dean let out a sigh of relief. He had come, though he hoped, he even prayed to Cas that he wouldn't reveal that he had called. Dean had needed to see his angel, it was getting bad again but he didn't want Sam to know.

"Uh...Cas." Sam said, glancing over to his brother as if reading his mind then looking back at the other man in the room. Dean gave Cas a look that he hoped he would catch, the naive son of a bitch could go off spewing anything right now, and Dean couldn't afford that," What's going on?"

"I just... came to check in. I wanted to see if you had gotten any further on that creature, that one that has been attacking my siblings in the west." Of course Cas knew they hadn't gotten anything. The brothers had spoken to him only two maybe three days ago. They had just started noticing a pattern, seeing that it was a serial angel murderer and that whatever it was, was eating angels' grace.

Sam's eyebrows knitted and he looked at Dean again who shrugged but as soon as Sam looked away Dean met Cas' eyes and mouthed, 'Thank you.' to him. Cas let a slight smile show and nodded as Sam started to rustle through the papers they had been writing their findings on.

"Well, it seems to have some sort of way of telling angels from humans because it has only killed angels. Its specific ways of killing have not come up on any human murders, although we also aren't sure what it is killing the angels with. It seems to be some weapon that it bares like claws. Those are the only new things we have found since we talked to you... two days ago." So it had only been two days. It had felt like weeks. Things were getting bad again.

"Keep up the good work then. I will be checking in again soon. Sam. Dean." He nodded to each in farewell and Dean stepped forward to speak but he was gone in a flurry of wind and the sound of invisible feathers.

"Dean." Dean turned to Sam at the sound of his name and raised his eyebrows.

"Hm?" He grunted at his younger brother, trying to ignore the questioning look on his brother's face.

"You called him." Sam stated. Little know it all.

"No, I didn't call him." Dean shook his head, careful not to get defensive which was his give when he was lying, he had been told.

"Why didn't you tell me it was getting bad again?" Sam raised his voice angrily.

"It's not getting bad again!" He shouted, "Nothing is getting bad again, I didn't call him!"

"Cas does not just show up like that anymore! He is too busy and you don't think I can catch that man lying as well as you can? I have been around him almost as long as you have!"

"Stop yelling at me! I just wanted to make sure!" Dean turned away and put his hands on his hips, shifting all his weight to one foot and hanging his head, shaking it back and forth a few times.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sam whispered.

"I didn't... you couldn't do anything... we both know that... it only goes away when I see him..." Dean turned and grabbed a washcloth, wiping up the beer he had dropped earlier.

"Maybe I can help a little bit, Maybe you could see a…" Dean cut Sam off with a wave of his hand.

"I am not going to see some shrink! He can't help with shit like this, they couldn't help you or Cas and they definitely couldn't help me! How many people survive hell only t-" Dean licked his lips and looked up at his younger brother, "I'm fine now, he came, we're good, okay? Let's get back to work." He picked up the book he had been reading and sat down on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard. Sam sighed and turned back to his papers, knowing the conversation was over.

* * *

"CAS! CASTIEL! Dean, calm down, he's coming!" Sam shouted, blocking the door of the warehouse so that Dean couldn't get out.

"Sam, I just need some air, let me out." Dean said in a low voice.

"No, there is something wrong with you, I can't let you out." Sam shook his head, muttering quietly as he looked around then he looked back at Dean and his eyes widened, "No, NO!"

* * *

Castiel appeared in his quiet flurry and looked around the warehouse, this was all wrong. Why was Sam tied up to a chair and beaten and appeared to have been tortured and Dean was the one standing over him with the knife and salt to make and pour into Sam's wounds.

"Oh, Castiel, you have joined us, how thoughtful of you to finally come after he BEGGED you to. You do play favorites." That was Dean's body and even Dean's voice, but the inflections, the way it was moving and being used, not Dean.

"Dean and I… have a more profound bond I can hear him better when he calls." Castiel strode across and sighed, "How did you do it?"

"Possess Winchester here?" Dean's eyes turned completely black and the demon grinned, exposing his chest with an ugly red scar across the star tattoo, " Easy enough."

"I am sorry." Castiel closed the distance between himself and the demon, standing in what Dean had called his personal space, " I know who you are and I am sorry. How do remember so many years ago?" He tilted his head his eyes reflecting how sad he felt.

"I remember all of it. " The demon hissed, "Now he knows all of it." The demon tapped hiss forehead and grinned.

"Dean knows my shortcomings. Leave him." Castiel warned before grabbing the demon by the shirt and pinning him to the wall, "Leave him!" He lifted his hand about to smite the demon but hesitated as the demon burst into laughter.

"You do care for this human, don't you? Any other you would have killed with no restraint. Do it, smite me, kill me, do it! He's dead anyway!" The demon laughed as Castiel slammed him harder to the wall he was against.

"What do you mean!? Tell me what you mean!" He growled in the demon's face, not seeing Dean's face but seeing the demon inside him.

"I fell, oops… I think it broke every single bone in his body… not something you recover from." Castiel's blood ran cold at the words and he heard the other Winchester let out a gut wrenching sob from across the room, confirming what the other had just said, "Oh Sammy, good thing you spoke up so I could give credit where it is due!"

"I didn't mean to!" Sam cried. Castiel refrained from turning to the other male in the room.

"Then he won't mind if I use this as an advantage." Castiel punched the demon as hard as he could across the jaw and just kept hitting him over and over, sometimes alternating hands, kicking him across the room, letting him stumble before landing another blow, beating him senseless for five minutes or so until he was on the ground bloody and moaning, " That is for everything you did to him, you sick…"

Before Castiel could finish the demon laughed then completely let Dean take control back. Dean doubled over into a ball on the floor and cried out in pain, groaning as he felt his broken bones and tortured skin, battered face and ruptured organs.

Casstiel knelt and held Dean's head and Dean's hand grabbed Castiel's sleeve, "Smite… him… please… please! The things… in his mind… please!"

* * *

Dean wanted it over, that was all he wanted. He hated begging, but if he had to he would. Right now, he was far past the need, "Cas, you have to…" Then the voice started up again, that horrid voice.

'Why would he do anything for you? Why do you think he would do a thing for you!? He won't do it. He won't grant you the mercy of death because he is selfish. You see what he did to me, what pain he has brought you. How many humans have you put through this, tortured, beaten, killed to get information from their demon or just to rid the world of evil, how many normal people with normal lives did you rip from their homes because they had a dark passenger. You know sometimes the humans don't even know they are possessed and others are dead without us, you're just sick. ' The voice echoed in Dean's head and he tried to fight the tears of pain and anguish that were threatening to fall down his blood stained face.

"It will kill you." Castiel stated. By this time Sam had gotten loose from his binding and was kneeling there too.

"I can't… kill me… I know where I'm going… get it out of me!" Dean begged then he winced and whimpered at the pain the effort of speaking had caused.

"No… I know what to do!" Sam grabbed his lighter and started to heat up his knife, " Cas, pin him to the ground, I know why I couldn't exorcise the demon before now. There is a symbol on Dean's arm, a circle, like when Meg possessed me." Once he knew the blade was hot enough he leaned over and rolled Dean's sleeve up.

Dean was plunged into oblivion as the demon tried to fight back, screaming and kicking, but the angel was much stronger and held him with ease as Sam burned a line across the mark on Dean's arm.

Dean screamed, not yelled or cried out, he screamed. Black smoke started to billow from his mouth and the cloud pooled on the roof before sparking with purple and disappearing.

Dean fell limp, a small sound of pain escaping his lips before he fell still, "Cas, you have to do something! He's dying!"

**Okay sorry it took so long X) hope you liked chapter two!**

**I'm also editing chapter one so if you feel the need to go back and read it with the few extra spelling corrections feel free.**


	3. Voice

The car streaked across the wet pavement, one of the headlights flickering threateningly as the black sleek car tore back into motion after the short pause of momentum to decide whether it needed to continue to the right or finally move forward. The skilled hands of the driver tore the wheel to go around the turn in the road, not as sharp as the one before but causing a similar sufficient shrieking noise across the pavement. Each cry of the tired on the rain soaked asphalt seemed to rip at his sanity like he was getting a very brutal waxing. He slid the car over to the side of the road and tried to contain the tears bursting forth from his eyes.

Dean had left Sam alone in the hotel room, told him he was just going out to get something from the gas station. That had been a lie. The small room had started freaking him out, he didn't know why he was acting this way. He just was freaking out and had to get out, but even this relief wasn't enough, this joy he had always had didn't clear up the clouds in his mind, the descending doom in his very heart. A sob ripped through the quiet of the cab of the rumbling car and he covered his mouth with a fist that he was leaning on the door. He closed his eyes and turned off the engine to listen to what everyone else would find comforting, but only was background noise to the screaming in his head.

Dean lay his head on the door and tried to just stop the thoughts running through his head, everything was horrible, he felt horrible. He jumped and almost cried out and would have punched Cas if it had taken him just another second to register who it was who had materialized in the passenger seat. The two great blue orbs Dean had become so accostumed to seeing in the dark when he was scared stared at him now, slightly narrowed, slightly tilted to the side with the face contorted before him in confusion.

"Dean…" Cas reached across from where he sat and tried to touch Dean's tear stained cheek but Dean recoiled and snarled.

"Don't… just…" Dean closed his eyes, emotionally choked off for the moment and unsure what to do to fix it. Cass was both the worst and best thing for him right now. Cas was Dean's cure all or 'downer' when he had taken too many 'uppers', Castiel was his angel, so why was this creature the reason Dean was having an anxiety attack in the middle of nowhere?

"Dean, please let me comfort you." Cas said, his voice ass soft and flat as always.

"You can't…" Dean finally wheezed out, "I know why…. Shit…" He shook his head and covered his eyes pressing his thumb into one eye and his fingers to the other as if that could keep in his tears.

"Talk to me, that seemed to help." Cas tried.

"How did you know where I was? I thought I was hidden from all angels?" Dean asked, looking up and biting his lower lip then running his tongue over the chapped skin he had chewed raw.

"Sam called me and told me the area you were in, I found the car." He muttered, "Why can you not tell me what is wrong? It has been quite a while since you have had secrets from me." Cas' voice pitched slightly, in a way Dean had come to realize was him being sad without showing it. Something the angels would pick up on instantly and Dean was only slightly slower than Cas' own family to figure it out.

"I can't, Cas… I can't say it because… I don't think I can handle if you confirm my fears and you wouldn't mean to… but there is no way you can't… because in way you already have… so I can't say it…." Dean raised his eyebrows and leaned forward then his lip twitched and his cheeks pinched up painfully near the corners of his eyes, he narrowed his eyes trying to stop the tears and the pain that were now etched all over his face.

"I do not know what to say." Cas whispered, looking at his palms in his lap.

"Say the demon was lying, tell me it's not true, please…" Dean hadn't wanted to ask but it had come to this, he had to know. Cas took a deep breath, held it for a moment then slowly looked up as he let it out slowly and met Dean's eyes. Dean searched for any hope in the blue pits of apology and regret. He found none.

He swallowed hard and opened the door, stepping out into the rain and slamming the door and putting his hands on his head, trying to calm down and breath. He leaned on the side of the car before his hand made the sound of wet skin sliding down wet metal and he fell to his knees, one hand still on the car, the other hugging his stomach as he felt his head swim.

There were strong hands on his shoulder and hip and Cas was trying to look at his face but Dean couldn't look up. He couldn't hear what Cas was saying as he started to tremble. He winced and doubled over then the pain intensified and he would have fallen forward onto the wet gravel at the side of the road if it hadn't been for the strong hands holding him still, the strong secure, tainted hands.

Suddenly Dean felt warmth on his face instead of the cold pelting rain. He blinked and had to squint in the sudden brightness. Cas had 'teleported' them back to the hotel and Dean was now leaning on the warm carpet, soaking wet and dripping. Sam stood up and the loud creak of the chair he had been in made Dean cringe and Dean turned so he could fall back on his butt and scoot his back up to the wall.

* * *

"Get this, the woman… was stripping in the middle of the road and pole dancing… Dean!" Sam stood at the pinned up reports he had been working on. He had turned to see Dean just staring blankly at the table with his lips pursed, temple resting on his fist resting on the table. Dean didn't look up when he said his name the first time, so it escaped Sam's lips worriedly, "Dean?"

"Hm?" Dean finally looked up and Sam shook his head, "Keep going, I was… I was listening…" Dean tried to assure Sam.

"How long has it been since you have slept?" Sam asked sitting down in front of, but not taking his eyes off of, Dean.

"We have to get to work on this, there are angels dying, I'm fine, what were you saying?" Dean waved his hand impatiently and went back to staring at the table.

"If you don't call him, I will." Sam warned in a low voice.

"Oh yeah, call him right to the place where all the angels are dying, best idea you have ever had, Sammy." He rolled his eyes and then let them drift closed before jerking himself as if he was falling asleep. Sadly Dean was falling asleep and he didn't want to.

"He is the only one who can help you sleep at night." Sam whispered.

"I don't want to talk about this. If you aren't going to tell me about angel killing thing I'm going to go out for a bit." Dean stood up and started to leave but was stopped. Sam jumped and watched Dean fall back noisily into his chair as if he had just been shot. Sam had never seen Dean react to Cas appearing in this manner before.

"What is going on between you two!?" Sam shouted. Cas' eyes widened slightly then he took a deep breath as if to say something and Ssam held a hand up, "You aren't going anywhere." And Cas shut his mouth smiling as if to say okay.

"Nothing, Sam!" Dean said in a muffled voice from behind his hands. He wiped his face then scratched the burn scar where the demon had completely destroyed Dean's anti-possession tattoo leaving a burn scar Cas hadn't been able to fix.

"There is something and I think it's being blown out of proportion whatever it happens to be." Sam shrugged and shook his head, pushing some hair out of his face and behind his ear. He looked at Cas who shook his head and looked at the floor as if in shame. Movement in the seat next to him made him turn in time to see Dean stand up.

"Out of proportion!? He left, Sam. I know it was a long time ago, I know it wasn't me, part of me knows he won't do it but so much of me is screaming he was special and he got left behind, what makes me so different? Why wouldn't Cas leave a broken shell of a man he once believed and now has confirmed that I am, huh? Why!? Oh then you are going to say we have had this discussion, but it doesn't change that now I see him and I don't feel comfort I feel terror, he's going to leave me, one day he just won't come back and that part of me will never go away! Shit!" Dean spun, his back facing Sam. A back that Sam always saw as strong, protecting. How much that back had changed, "Don't say anything…" Dean warned the angel.

"Dean… I don't understand…" Sam whispered then flinched as the muscles in Dean's arms tenses. Sam couldn't see the fists he knew were clenched, hidden under the sleeves that were much too long for Dean. Dean must have put on one of Sam's own jackets.

"Cas had a vessel…" Cas looked away ass Dean started to explain, "Cas had to leave the vessel, because it was unable to contain him… The vessel's brother knew his brother was long dead when Cas finally took control of it but Cas had become not really friends but close enough when he abandoned the body. The brother was left with an empty shell of a brother and a deaf ear from heaven. He begged for years for help any place he could find it, but it never came. He vowed revenge on Cas. Now he is seeking it…the kid was twenty six when he went to hell." Dean looked at the floor then turned to Sam, glancing over his shoulder at his younger sibling.

"I should have seen the evil the brother was becoming." Cas started to say. Dean turned back and Ssam leaned away from his now furious older brother.

"TWENTY SIX Cas he was a child! Just barely able to drink!" Dean shouted.

"I was doing as I was told, which you know I don't do anymore! I didn't know I could question authority, that I could stay with those I cared for, that I had a choice in the matter! It was years before your time and barely even in your father's time! I have been held accountable for all my mistakes! I am not leaving you, Dean, you're pushing me away." They stared at each other for a long time.

"Pushing you away? I'm scared! Okay! I said it, I'm scared that you won't want to stay anymore so I give you reasons to so that it won't hurt as much when you do!" Dean pointed randomly into the air harshly and jerked his hand back, poking himself in the chest, " I don't mean to but it's just happening, I just can't stop, I don't know how this is your fault but yet again part of me is saying it is! I don't want you to leave but maybe if it is because of something you have done and not me it hurts less! This started as a rant!" Dean flinched visibly as Cas moved forward and narrowed his eyes, standing on his toes so that his face was inches from Dean's even as Dean leaned back to get away from him.

"I will not leave you." Sam stood slowly as Cas put a hand on Dean's chest and crumpled part of hiss shirt into his fist. Sam slunk to the side of the room and stopped dead when Cas pulled Dean down and the two men's lips met. Sam tried to keep his mouth closed as he stared at his brother being kissed by an angel before his eyes. Wouldn't be the first time Dean had kissed and angel but it was still shocking.

Cas pulled away and waited. Dean looked confused, on the verge of tears, more confused, then almost releaved, "Cas…"

"That is how humans show affection, correct?" Cas asked. Sam was finally stirred from his completely stunned state and hurried from the room when Dean wrapped his hand in Cas' hair and pulled him into a deep and needing kiss, but he smiled as he shut the door, still not sure what to think, but it had been a while since he had seen Dean this happy.


	4. Edge

Dean leaned on the window and closed his eyes against his throbbing migraine and moaned when Sam cleared his throat. He opened one eye and it took a moment for him to actually make out where Sam was, even though they were right next to each other in the Impala.

"So… uhm…" Sam started quietly, knowing Dean's head hurt for some reason.

"What?" Dean asked grumpily, closing his eyes again and rubbing them with his thumb and index finger.

"About last night…" Dean could practically hear the gears grinding in Sam's head as he tried to come up with the right words. Dean turned in the seat and squinted, wanting to actually watch as Sam worked out what he wanted to say.

"_What_ about last night? Come on, spit it out, Sammy." Dean said loudly.

"Dean I just… after what happened with the demon and with what was going on last night, as your younger sibling, as your brother…" Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked out into the white fog of the early morning, staring at the yellow lines of the pavement.

"Sam, beating around the bush." Dean raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, completely having lost where his brother was going with this.

"I don't know if the demon was the first time you have been with a man or not so I'm just assuming it was, but it might not of been and I wanted you to know it's not supposed to hurt like that and I wanted to make sure Cas didn't hurt you last night." Sam let everything just run out of his mouth in one long run on sentence, obviously afraid he wouldn't get it all out, between Dean's snippy commentary and his own mind freaking him out. He kneaded the wheel as he drove and didn't look over at Dean's utterly shocked face.

"Pull over. Pull the damn car over." Dean shouted, filling the whole cab space with his voice.

"I-I…" Sam stuttered but Dean cut him off loudly.

"Pull the damn car over, Sam." Dean commanded. Sam winced and slowed the Impala, ready for the onslaught his brother was about to deal. He turned off the vehicle and stared at the water droplets collecting on the windshield.

"Dean, I…" He whispered but Dean cut him off.

"Nothing happened last night. Nothing, Sam. We kissed… then we talked. That's it…" Dean's anger was ebbing away now and he licked his lips, biting slightly at the chapping of his lower lip as he sighed loudly, "But… Thank you for worrying…" He added before opening the door and stepping out into the cool air, pulling his leather jacket tight around him. He tried to use the breathing techniques Sam had taught him a while back when the panic attacks had started but right now there was no reason for him to be having an attack at all.

He turned around and leaned his arms on the roof of the car as Sam slowly stood up and did the same, " I didn't mean to… upset you…" Sam whispered, "I didn't want to bring it up but…" Dean lifted his hand and nodded, taking a deep breath before starting.

"I'm okay, actually better than okay now. We talked. " Dean shrugged, " So, you can… stop worrying about that." Dean shrugged again, not really sure what to say at this point. Sam had a good point, even if his fears had no grounds, he had thought they did, " Come on, we have work to do.

* * *

Sam threw his book down and pointed at the passage he had been reading, "Found it! It's so old there is no known name for it. This creature takes on the form of a human when not feeding and can maintain this form even when feeding helping it blend in. Its true form is that of a giant lizard that can only be seen by its prey but it only goes into this form when weakened. They will normally pose as women to hide their claws as nails." Sam looked up at his older brother who was leaning against a wall reading and had looked up when he had spoken.

"So what do they feed on?" Dean asked, dreading the answer, it wasn't and angel's wings or their body, that was one thing they were sure of.

"They feed on an angel's grace. Suck it right out of them. They have to weaken the angel first then they feed on their grace, right before they die the creature rips them to shreds. These things were supposedly extinct because angels haven't been on earth for so long they all starved. The problem is when Eve was making all those hybrids, she brought them back to life." Sam muttered, leaning back in his chair and clapping his hands together.

"How do you know that last part? About Eve?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes and closing the book he hadn't really been looking at in the first place.

"Because I recognize one of the pictures, those weren't all starships in the diner. Look at this depiction and tell me you don't recognize it." Sam slid the book across the table. The drawing was old, crude, and fading off the page but it looked exactly like the woman sitting in the back of the diner the day Eve died. Dean shook his head.

"Any way to kill it?" Dean asked, but before Ssam could answer there was a knock on the door. Dean pulled out his gun and Sam looked out the small peephole in the door, cursing silently then turning to Dean.

"You have to call Cas, now, only…" before Sam could finish the door busted in and slammed into his back, knocking him sprawling to the floor, something very heavy standing on top of it pinned him to the floor and he couldn't even squirm. He tried to catch his breath as his vision grew fuzzy then he passed out.

* * *

Dean jerked against his restraints though they weren't budging. He had never been chained with this material before. They were unlike any cuffs he had ever been placed in. He looked around the room for anything he could use but the warehouse had shelves and trash literring the ground but nothing else, there wasn't even anything on the shelves. He groaned and tried to pull his hand from the cuff, feeling it cut into his skin as he tugged. His eyes widened when he heard the moans from across the room and Sam, bound the same way, stirred to life.

"Sammy? Sam!" Dean whispered.

"Dean?" Sam blinked and Dean would have been relieved if he didn't hear footsteps in the distance. He struggled with the bonds as hard as he could but he just couldn't dislocate his hand enough to get it through the cuff.

"Sam, whatever happens, I'm right here, it's okay, nothing is going to hurt you!" He said, more to assure himself than anything. He looked up and gasped as the owner of the footsteps came into view.

**Sorry bit shorter than my last ones little busy but this fic is almost over thanks to everyone for reading so far!**


	5. Lungs

Castiel heard the call and dropped everything. Dean hadn't called him in a few nights, and hadn't called him like this in months. Castiel thought Dean was getting better but at the sound of his human Castiel halted everything. He knew this was different. He feared the worst as he disappeared without a word to those around him.

He appeared behind Dean, blade in hand and he threw it, imbedding it in the creature's arm. Sam and Dean were both tied to chair and Dean was straining against his bindings to try to get to Sam. The creature looked like a plain woman, very average, except for the black claws she had run across Sam's chest and the serpentine teeth she now hissed at Cas with.

"I'm sorry, Cas,I'm sorry she was killing him…" Cas barely heard Dean as he moved across the room and removed his blade from the creature's shoulder as she started to turn green and grow scales.

"Cas, there are two!" Sam groaned. Castiel culdn't heed his words, the creature clawed at Cas and raked her claws across Cas' stomach. He jumped back and snarled and jumped back into the other creature's waiting arms. It grabbed his wrist that held the blade and grabbed him around the chest. She was stronger than her human form made her seem because she was able to knock Cas off his balance as he tried to pull his wrist loose.

The one with the shoulder wound flicked her tongue out and licked his wound. It was only as it flickered against her tongue that he realized her claws had hit his grace. He struggled but she bit into his side.

"Cas! Oh God no, Cas!" Dean screamed and Cas surged forward, pulling the second creature with him as he yanked his hand down and slammed the blade into the side of the first one's neck. She screamed and the second one raked her claws down Castiel's back. He dropped the blade and his legs buckled. His blade was pulled out of his grasp and the creature let go of him and he collapsed, unsure what was going on until he was pulled to his feet by a familiar blonde.

"Now, Cassie." Bathazar's thick accent filled the room, "Come on, stand up. We have to get you help, come now."

* * *

Balthazar reached over and touched Dean's head and in a blink he was standing and staring at Bobby who looked about as shocked as he felt. In the next moment Balthazar was standing beside Bobby holding up Cas as Sam slumped into the cot that was in Bobby's office.

"I need to take him with me so if you will excuse us." The angels were gone. Dean moved over to Sam.

"He's going to need some stitches on his chest and on his arm… the thing tried to torture him to get to me…" Dean muttered as he started to wipe up the blood and completely shut down as he numbly worked on helping Sam and not worrying about Cas as much as he wanted to.

When he had stitched Sam up and gotten him the best medicated they could for him, dean stood up and went to wash himself up and change into some clothes he knew he had left here.

"I have to go get the car, anyone around I can have come with me to drive the truck back?" He muttered.

"Dean, just go to sleep for a few, boy. Leave the address and we will get the impala back here safe and sound. Wait for news on Cas." Bobby patted his shoulder he was about to protest but bobby shook his head so he went and lay down.

Dean didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he woke up screaming and searching the darkness frantically. He bit the inside of his cheek to resist calling out to Castiel who he knew was too hurt to come this time. Castiel had gotten hurt, come at once as soon as Dean called, had dropped everything and was probably dying.

Dean whimpered and hugged his legs. He calmed down as he Bobby's footfalls coming down the hall. He jumped when the door slammed open, "It's okay." He held his hands up, "Just a nightmare…"

Bobby lowered his gun and sat at the foot of dean's bed, "They will both be alright, Kid."

Dean nodded and took a deep breath. He couldn't live if even oone of them was gone. He just couldn't do it. He closed his eyes and lay to the side. Bobby touched his foot and left him alone. This time, he didn't sleep.

* * *

Blathazar appeared to Sam when he called in the night. Sam was sitting alone on the cot he had been left to get better on. He looked up, "Thank you for coming... The other day even though you could have died. I didn't know who else to call."

"It's no problem. Anything to help Cassie... those things were killing him." Balthazar saidin a very uncharacteristically affectionate voice.

"How is he doing?" Sam muttered.

"He didn't wake up so we aren't sure the extent of the damage n both his Grace and vessel alike. I will tell you more when I know more. Ta." He seemed to be getting... was that emotional? Sam couldn't tell in the dark and how fast the angel left. He hoped Cas would be okay.

**Sorry this took so long guys! But here it is! Next chapter! Enjoy!**


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